Healing

 I’m Episcopalian & very proud of my high-Church Anglo-Catholic leanings. But today I did something that I was ready to do & should have done months ago. But , as we learned in Cursillio,  the walk of faith occurs in God’s Time, not ours. And today was God’s time for me to openly embrace the soul-healing that needed to truly begin.

I’d grossly mistook most of my sisters & brothers when I thought that I would not be welcome. I was, for the most part, welcomed with ope arms, even with my EPISCOPALIAN pendent  worn proudly around my neck. :O) And I carried my BCP with me , too, if nothing else but to give me solace.

It was * really* weird  not seeing any kneelers, but at the time of the Holy Communion I knelt on the floor of the nave Protestants call it a sanctuary, but it is a nave!!} Kneeling on a concrete floor is very uncomfortable & I know some people behind me gave me funny looks but I don’t care. I’m a high-Church Anglo-Catholic & we kneel at the time of Holy Communion.

The priest at my parish during this morning’s homily gave me strength: God sure used her words to give me a message. The message I got from the homily preached at my Episcopal parish this morning was ” Sarah Beth, be who GOD wants you to be, not who other humans expect you to be”. And I carried those words with me today as I went to celebrate my friends’ child’s baptism in their church. God said to me” Sarah Beth, yo are an Anglo-Catholic Episcopalian & that is who your Creator  Created you to be. So, at the other church I worshipped accordingly{ with a few necessary accommodations}

God was waiting for me to meet God there all along. Wow. My Spiritual Director told me that all I needed to do was to ask God to meet God’s self there & I will find the peace I so sought but has somehow eluded me until today, this Feast of Our Lord’s Baptism.

I had to be open to the total healing process by the Great Physician, be willing to be emotionally naked{ Read: vulnerable} & as trusting as a child  who is getting baptized. I had to put all my worries & misgivings at God’s Altar, both at home & during the  8 o’clock Mass at my parish this morning.

Now that I am truly open to God’s Healing, I am able to, as one of my parishioners so adequately & eloquantly described my  situation ” able to DUMP IT” { His words, not mine} This afternoon I have a much lighter heart & feel a bit closer to what ++Katharine Jefferts-Schori calls  the grand vision of shalom.

I am more open to whatever it is that God has in store for me as a member of the Anglican branch of the one true catholic Church.  As one priest whom I love & respect once said in a homily. ” God wants & deserves the best of US”  In order for me to be the best servant-leader I can be in my Church, I need to  heal. While we are all somwhat broken,  circumstances  rendered me  almost totally shattered. But  thanks be to God  & via the love of my parish family & the Episcopal Diiocese of the Central Gulf Coast, I am  ready for whatever God has in store for me  around the next bend in this road known as the Christian life.

Amen.

Feast of Our Lord’s Bapatism 2010.

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