St Julian of Norwich, revisited

 My WordPress blog has a feature where I can see the ” top searches” of the day as they apply to the topics I’ve covered on my blog.  For the past few weeks, the quote by St Julian of Norwich has  been the only constant topic with which my blog appears when folks type in  search engine topics.

 This quote came to mind again when I was chatting with a parishioner yesterday during coffee hour.  This is unsettling since I really don’t know this person well at all nor does she know me but yet she asked me a very poignant question about my Christian vocation.

I still would ask St Julian how she knows that ” all will be well”. There is so much  happening in my life right now  which is tearing me in several directions. Sometimes I would REALLY appreciate  a { surefire} “outward  & visible sign of an inward & spiritual grace “regarding what God wants from me & how I am supposed to  follow the will of the Creator.

Darn it….the nagging won’t cease!  But how will I know if this nagging comes from humans or is truly of God? Don’t worry, I am not hearing imaginary voices, but others have  told me that they see me   doing God’s work in a way in which I am totally ill-equipped. But am I as ill-equipped as I feel, or is it Satan trying to toy with me?

Someone please explain: what the heck is happening here?

This morning’s Gospel lesson from Mark  tells the story of Jesus’s time in the wilderness. I wonder, did St Julian ever have a wilderness experience? When did she  get her revelation that” all will be well”?

Mark writes ” He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan, and He was with the wild beasts;and the angels waited on Him.”

 I feel alone in this: as not one of my age peers has ever been through this sort of vocational discernment.   Now I know God is with me  during this initial vocational discernment but lately it seems like no one else on Earth  will totally understand, including the people who seem to think I have a vocation!

Will all be well? I can only hope & pray for God to show me what I am supposed to do next while trying hard not to be afraid.

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