looking back to look ahead.

One of the things that we learn in EfM is that all of us are ” walking wounded” but my story has, until recently, been carrying along excess baggage. Those who know me in person know that I am literally a small-framed woman: my tiny body cannot handle too heavy a load. And when I came home from my recent trip up north I felt that FINALLY, thanks be to God, that a load has lifted.

It also helps that I recently went to Reconciliation with a very well-respected priest in my Diocese. Many of my Protestant friends{ and even some of my Episcopalian friends} have qualms about this articular sacramental rite. Goodness knows that I was, at first among the naysayers when the subject of confession was reared but I am a huge champion of that rite now. Via the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I was * finally* able to give to God a big item that was literally weighing my soul down. I’m not worrying with that particular sin anymore & truly gave it up to God. Amen & Amen.

Some of the junk I’ve been carting around with me deals with ecclesiastical stuff, but since my trip back to PA & Ohio I’ve been slowly & prayerfully coming to terms with my own reality…some of which I wish were different. My limitations do* not* define who I am, and in many ways these very limitations leave me open for ministries in Christ’s names that a so-called ” normal” person would not do for lack of time. Looking back, I realize that I spent way too much time feeling badly for myself regarding what I CAN’T do rather than focusing my energy on what gifts God HAS given me. I realize now that my lifestyle as a single woman with disabilities does in no way make me any less precious & useful in God’s Kingdom. On some days I do wish I were more ” normal”. { and anyhow who defines normal….some of m favorite people in the WORLD are not what the mainstream culture would define as ” normal”!}

Anyhow, I spent ten wonderful days up in the hills of Eastern Ohio & Western PA, & this summer’s trip was one of great emotional & spiritual growth for me. While there, I saw folks whom I’d not seen in many years & when they asked me personal questions I answered them with confidence. I am who I am…God made me this way

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